


What secret school girl?

by NovemberWings



Series: The secret school girl [3]
Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: 1980s, 1980s Era Queen (Band), Acceptance, Brian May/Roger Taylor Fluff, Crossdressing, Crying, Drunken Kissing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Even more Maylor than the last, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Makeup, Maylor - Freeform, Men Crying, New Year's Eve, Period Typical Attitudes, Queen fluff, Rogerina Taylor (Queen), Self-Acceptance, Supportive Brian, Supportive Freddie, Supportive John, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Transvestite, men in makeup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 22:35:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20443685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovemberWings/pseuds/NovemberWings
Summary: Since Brian found out about Roger's crossdressing Roger was the happiest he had ever been. He got to share the most secretive, intimate part of himself with the man he was closest with. He knows that Freddie and John would accept him just as much as Brian does, but right now everything was perfect and Roger didn't want that to change.Despite Roger's efforts, there are a lot of changes on New Year's Eve 1984. A lot of feelings bubble up and many secrets are no longer secrets in the morning.*Can be read as a stand-alone but it's better in the series!





	What secret school girl?

**Author's Note:**

> The Secret School Girl (pt 1); https://archiveofourown.org/works/20297779
> 
> The Less Secretive School Girl (pt 2); https://archiveofourown.org/works/20357128

It was new year’s eve! Roger absolutely loved new year’s eve, to be honest he loved any excuse to get pissed and new year’s eve was the biggest excuse. The band had been invited by Elton to go to his house for a party and to stay the night and Roger he been really looking forward to it. Elton really knew how to throw a good party, which was why when Brian fell ill with a bad cold the day before he was really disappointed.

John had offered to stay with Brian while Freddie and Roger went to Elton’s but Roger knew that he wouldn’t be able to have fun or relax if he knew that Brian was at home feeling ill. Since Brian had taken Roger to Beezle’s they had grown a lot closer. It became a pretty common occurrence that Brian would help him with his makeup, and they had experimented quite a lot and had finally found Roger’s own style, and Roger knew he never could have done it without Brian. Roger was happier than he ever had been and he was so grateful to Brian for helping him through this.

After two months, with Brian’s help, he even needed to find a larger box to keep his stuff in under his bed, because now not only did he have to hide the school girl outfit and the makeup but a dress and two other skirts. Brian had even came up with the idea of incorporating some of Roger’s everyday clothes into his girl clothes. So far his best stroke of genius was when he paired the white blouse Roger had from his first outfit with this royal blue flared skirt from Beezle’s with Roger’s favourite pair of rainbow suspenders. He looked absolutely gorgeous. It was only amplified when Roger had suggested putting on a dark blue eye shadow.

Brian had been nothing less than 100% there for Roger and Roger knew that he had to be there for Brian too. But he didn’t want to stay with him out of a feeling of obligation. Roger knew that in the pit of his stomach he had some feelings growing for Brian. He knew there was a little buzz there before any of this had happened but this had only strengthened it and made it more apparent to him. He didn’t want Brian to know. He didn’t want to ruin this perfection. 

He knew that Brian accepted and loved Roger, including his passion for cross dressing, and Roger knew that Brian would accept Roger’s bisexuality but he was sure that if he was open about his strong feelings for Brian specifically it would add a strain to their relationship and that was the last thing Roger wanted. So he tried to convince himself that that buzz in his stomach was admiration, or friendship, or appreciation. That made him feel better about the fact that he would never be open about his feelings.

So when John offered to stay with Brian Roger immediately jumped in declaring that he would be the one to stay.

“No it’s alright John. You go. I’ll stay with Bri.” He said as he took a seat on the settee next to Brian, who was wrapped up tightly in a fluffy blanket, looking like a floating head with a marvellous head of hair. At that all of the other boys gawked openly at him.

“Are you serious?” Brian said croakily, turning his head to look at Roger with disbelief. Roger just shrugged.

“Yeah. Of course I am?” He was confused about the shock. “Hey! I’m a good friend.” He half snapped before pouting.

“I know, that’s not what I’m saying.” Brian said before he fell into a coughing fit, leaving Freddie to fill in what they were all clearly thinking.

“You know its Elton’s party. And you love new year’s, darling.” Freddie said.

“Yeah I know, but someone needs to stay with Bri. He’s sick.” He said matter-of-factly, a little hurt that all of them thought that eh would rather go to a party than look after his friend.

“Which is why I offered.” John supplied, “I don’t love new year’s as much as you do and I don’t mind not going.”

“Yeah, but if Fred and I go to the party I’m going to get plastered and Fred’s going to get plastered and then we’ll both be plastered, but you can be there to look after Fred and I’ll be here with Brian. Plus I think my liver will thank me for skipping one of Elton’s.” He laughed along with the others.

“Are you sure.” Brian rasped out after his coughing fit had ended, “I don’t mind staying here alone, guys, seriously. I’m not going to keel over.”

“No, absolutely not.” Roger said sharply, clear that there would be no negotiation. “I’m staying.” He crossed his legs on the sofa to make his point.

“Alright, you two better get going then.” Brian shooed at John and Freddie who started walking towards the door. Roger stood to see them out.

“See you later, Bri.” John shouted.

“Yes, see you love.” 

John opened the door and got into the car behind the wheel. Freddie paused outside the door as Roger stood on the threshold.

“That was nice of you to stay.” He said, quirking an eyebrow at Roger. “But I’m sure you’ll have an equally good night with Brian. You two alone make quite a good pair.” He smiled knowingly. Roger felt a bolt of shock and slight anger travel up his spine.

“Shut up.” He grumbled, giving Freddie’s shoulder a gentle shove. Freddie grinned at that, and Roger could help but grin back – Freddie always had the quality of a Cheshire cat, he could get away with almost anything.

“Night night, darling.” Freddie crooned, as he took Roger’s wrist and pulled him in close to give him a peck on the cheek, before turning and jogging to join John in the car. Roger gave them both a quick wave before he closed and locked the door.

Quickly he made his way back into the living room to see Brian still wrapped up.

“I’m sorry.” He sighed, “I know you were looking forward to this party.”

“Yeah, but I’d rather stay in with you.” He said sincerely, and then he blushed wondering if he had said too much.

“That’s sweet.” Brian said as Roger went to sit next to him. Roger sat quite close to him and Brian snuggled in closer to his side, probably appreciating the extra warmth. They sat in a comfortable silence before Brian dropped his head on Roger’s shoulder.

“Shall we put the fire on and you can put your other clothes on?” Brian said, obviously feeling a non-existent chill.

“That sounds nice.” He smiled.

“If you go into my room I bought you a dress.”

“Brian!” Roger said sitting up a little straighter, turning his body to look at Brian. “You shouldn’t buy me stuff!” While he chastised him he knew that he had a smile on his face. He was secretly incredibly happy that Brian would think of him enough to randomly buy him presents.

“I know. I know. But I wanted to.” Brian smiled, “I saw it and it looked perfect. It’s so you. I had to get it.” Brian shrugged. Roger reached over and grabbed the shape of Brian’s hand under the blanket.

“Thank you.”

“Go get changed.” Brian nodded his head towards his bedroom, and who was Roger to refuse. Roger practically jumped up off the sofa and ran into Brian’s room. There was a plastic bag lying on his bed.

“In the bag on the bed?” He shouted to Brian.

“Yeah.” Brian responded as loudly as he could. Roger sat on the bed and reached over to pull the bag closer. He reached inside the bag and immediately knew that this dress was nothing like anything else he owned. It felt so different to his fingers and he could tell that this dress was expensive just from the feel of it. He couldn’t wait any longer and pulled it out of the bag. Before he even laid the dress out to see it clearly he absolutely adored the colour of it. It was silver and made out of almost reflexive material that was so thin Roger felt as if it would disintegrate in his hands. 

He lay the dress out on the bed. The dress was completely opaque, but shiny and almost resembled chain mail. It was very short and looked as if it would be tight and hug his body and show off the small curve of his soft belly. There were no sleeves but there were two silver chains to hold the dress up. He quickly started taking off the clothes he was wearing to go to Elton’s and soon they were in a pile on Brian’s floor.

He flipped the dress over and pulled the zip down at the back before he took two chains and stepped into the dress. He started to pull the dress up until he rested the two chains on his shoulders. While the dress was definitely figure hugging it wasn’t tight and the stretchy material made it super comfortable. He reached behind him to start pulling the zip up and he could comfortable make it to the middle of his back before he couldn’t reach any further. He had never been in this situation before but he decided that Brian surely wouldn’t mind zipping him up.

He quickly ran into his own room to pull out the box under his bed and grab the few makeup supplies he had and pretty much fell over himself to get downstairs and show Brian. He stumbled into the living room, almost falling over, but he was never really known for his grace and elegance.

“What do you think?” He said as he went to walk in front of the couch, so Brian could see him more easily. He put all the makeup on the coffee table before throwing his arms open to properly show off the dress and the shape of his body. He was met with silence and nervously he glanced down at Brian’s face, whose mouth was dumbly open with shock. 

“Oh my god, Rog. You look… amazing. Perfect.” His voice was breathless, and Roger wanted to believe so badly that it wasn’t the cold making Brian’s voice sound like that but instead his adoration for how Roger looked – but that must only be a fantasy he reminded himself harshly. Despite his self-reparation for that thought Roger’s smile didn’t faulter and somehow grew at Brian’s compliment.

“I love it. I love it!” He said, his excitement making him jump up and down a little, clasping his hands in front of him, almost childlike. He didn’t care though. He loved this dress. He felt amazing in it. And Brian had bought it for him. On new year’s eve. As a surprise present. He had never been given anything that meant this much to him in the world.

“It fits you so well!” Brian’s voice was astonished, and now that he had managed to break out of his initial shock Brian’s smile mirrored Roger’s. Somehow Brian managed to look stunning even with the flushed cheeks from the heat in the room and his fever tinged features. 

I must admit, you somehow managed to get the perfect size.” Roger swayed from side to side and gave a quick look over his shoulder to try and see what his arse looked like – he hadn’t even stopped to have a look in the mirror. In doing that he remembered that he needed to get Brian to zip up the back of the dress. “Bri, are you alright to get up and zip me?” He asked, feeling a little bad for asking his friend to get up for him while he was sick.

“Of course I’m okay to get up. I have a cold. I’m not incapacitated.” He grumbled as he stood up, he had been treated like he was made of glass by the others the second that he fell ill.

“I know.” Roger shrugged, grinning slightly at Brian’s grumbling as he turned around both to give Brian access to the zip and to hide his smirk. Roger jumped a little when Brian’s hand touched his shoulder but was less surprised when he felt Brian’s hand in the middle of his back where he knew the zip lay. Slowly, and extremely carefully, Brian started to pull the zip up until Roger felt it stop half way up his shoulder blades.

Without warning, before Roger could turn back around to thank Brian, he felt Brian give his arse a few gentle pats before he backed off and went to turn the fire on. Roger felt his face grow extremely red at that. The band was quite touchy-feely so this was nothing out of the ordinary; with Freddie’s kisses and John’s hugs and his need to constantly sit on a vacant lap but from Brian this type of touch was completely unprecedented. It’s not like he minded – in fact he was pretty thrilled – he was just very shocked by it and of course the buzzing in his stomach jumped and was pretty much burning a hole through his torso.

“Lemme tell you, Rog, your arse looks brilliant in that dress.” Brian said as Roger turned around to see him lowering himself back onto the couch.

“Thanks.” Roger said, slightly bashful, his usual wit and teasing completely gone through shock.

“You want me to do your make up?”

“Yes please.” Roger said as he sat on the couch next to him, tucking his legs underneath him. Brian leant forward and grabbed the makeup bag, zipping it open, and pulled out the concealer. He quickly dabbed it under Roger’s eyes and on some of the imperfections on Roger’s skin before rubbing it in with his finger gently – the overly warm skin of his fingertips scorching him. Roger was glad that he hadn’t paused to pull on some tights because with the fire, and the heat of Brian’s skin and the fire in his belly he felt as if he might self-combust if he were any warmer.

After a few experiments they had chosen not to use the foundation, as Roger felt as if he was wearing a mask, which was not what he wanted. Brian did the bear minimum with the concealer before he capped it and put it away. Next he pulled out the small eye shadow pallet they had.

“I’m thinking a grey shadow?” Brian asked, quirking a brow before he quickly turned away from Roger and coughed into his elbow. “Sorry.” He said, sniffing as he turned around, “I know I’m gross.”

“Yeah you are gross but I’m okay with that.” Roger laughed and Brian laughed a little too, nudging him slightly with his thigh. “Of course it’s fine. You’re the only makeup artist I’ve got. I think grey eye shadow too.” He clarified before closing his eyes. He sat for his eyes closed for a moment before he heard Brian’s gently reprimanding voice.

“Stop grinning, you’re wrinkling your face.” Roger could hear the smile through his voice.

“Yes, sir.” He said in his best mock American accent. He pursed his lips and let out a slow breath to calm the giggles that were bubbling in his chest before he completely relaxed his face. He felt the eye shadow brush gently applying the makeup on his eye lids – and Roger knew with Brian’s perfect guitar playing fingers there would be nothing less than precision. Soon enough Brian had finished both eyes and gently tapped under Roger’s eye where some eyeshadow must have gone a little awry.

“Alright.” He said to let Roger know that he could open his eye. “Okay I was thinking liquid eye liner.” Roger nodded but Brian continued, “and you’re not allowed to be mad at me but I bought you another eyeliner.”

“Brian!” Roger said loudly, “You’re spoiling me!” He did feel bad that Brian was spending so much money on him but he was so thankful that he couldn’t tell him off too much.

“I know, I know but I saw it and it went perfectly with the dress. Call it a late Christmas present if you need to. Or a New year’s eve present for good luck or something. But look it’s perfect.” Brian quickly fumbled around in his pyjama trousers’ pockets before he pulled out the glittery tube. And Brian was right. It was perfect. It was a silver glittery eyeliner the exact same shade as the dress.

“Bloody hell, Bri, you were right it is perfect. How do you do this?” He laughed in almost disbelief. He was genuinely starting to believe that Brian was some extra-terrestrial deity – which would explain his obsession with space at least.

“Magic.” Brian replied dryly. “Now close your blue eyes, blondie.” Roger complied and he felt the cool liquid on the edge of his eye lid. When Brian had finished one eye he paused. “Don’t open you eyes.” He said seriously before he felt warm air being wafted on his face, Brian was obviously fanning his eyes with his hand to help the eyeliner set. After several minutes both his eyes were done and Roger opened his eyes.

“Well I don’t know about you but I’m pretty sure a red lip is the right way to go.” Roger said with confidence. He knew that tonight was about looking his best – making a statement – and what was more of a statement than glittery eyes and a red lip? Brian nodded emphatically before he started rooting in the bag to find his red lipstick.

“I think you would be crazy to suggest otherwise.” He handed Roger the lipstick who quickly stood and bounded to the mirror in the corridor. This was the first chance he had gotten to look at himself and while he knew it was vain to think it he couldn’t help but think how stunning he looked. The dress hugged him in all the right places, and even without the nylons his legs looked great. His hair had been brushed and spiked in the right places for the party – which made such a massive difference as usually when he was wearing his dresses and makeup it was just when he was home alone. He had never been ready to go out. His hair perfectly framed his face and his dark eyes stood out from his pale skin drawing attention to the lightness of his eyes. The silver glittered pulled the dress and his makeup together and accented his eyes in the most perfect way with the elegant flick that Brian had managed to craft on his face. He leant in close to the mirror and started to swipe the lipstick across his bottom lip before rubbing his lips together and finally adding the final touches to where he had missed. Normally he would find a tissue and kiss away the thick layer but he didn’t have any and tonight he didn’t care. Tonight was about excess and Roger was going to indulge in every way possible.

He stepped back and looked at himself. He had never looked in the mirror and been so happy and he couldn’t want to show Brian. He strode back into the living room to see Brian eagerly staring at the door, and the second Brian saw him his face grew into the biggest smile Roger had ever seen. He mirrored Brian’s expression effortlessly.

“Wow.” Was all Brian could conjure up, despite being one of the best lyricists Roger had ever known and Roger knew he would never receive a bigger compliment than making Brian may speechless.

“Thanks.” He said as he went to go sit by Brian again. They sat for a moment, the only sound was the fire crackling before Roger suggested; “shall we put the telly on and watch a crap countdown or something?” Brian nodded.

“And I think we should have a drink.” Brian ventured delicately, knowing how motherly his other bandmates got when he was ill.

“Brian you’re ill!” Roger exclaimed as if Brian had just suggested he should go and bury himself in the snow outside.

“But it’s new year’s. C’mon Rog!” He almost whined and batted his eyelids. In response Roger paused for a moment before sighing, knowing that he would eventually say yes because Brian had him wrapped around his finger.

“Fine.” He said standing up. “You do the telly I’ll get the drinks. What do you want?”

“Guinness please.” He said as he also laboured up from the cough – taking a sufficiently longer time that Roger. Roger nodded and padded into the kitchen, hearing the telly flick on in the living room. He went into the booze cupboard and pulled out a can of Guinness before doing his best impersonation of a bar tender and trying not to give Brian a glass full of foam (and failing miserably) before getting himself the champagne out of the fridge. It was new year’s after all. He grabbed two champagne glasses and somehow managed to carry it all into the living room and set it on the coffee table next to his makeup without breaking or spitting anything.

“Jesus, Rog, is it all foam or is there any liquid in the glass?” Brian interrogated as he picked the glass up and looked at it with disgust.

“Shut up.” Roger said playfully as he started to pull the foil off the top of the bottle.

“Champagne, really?” he sounded a little shocked, “without out the others?”

“Yes really. And yes without the others! I’m sure they’ll be plenty to drink at Elton’s and it’s new year’s. Deaky knows that champagne is one of my favourite drinks and he chose to leave me in the house on new year’s eve no less with it! It’s a formal invitation at this point!” He finished his point by loudly popping out the cork and giving himself a little cheer before he poured himself a glass and chinked it against Brian’s glass. “Cheers.”

“Indeed, cheers.” They both took a swig of their drinks.

“So what are we watching?”

“It’s a countdown of the best songs of the year.” Brian shrugged taking another sip.

“And why are we torturing ourselves?” Roger asked putting his glass on the table.

“We’re not. It’s just some stupid show – voted for by the public. It doesn’t mean anything. Plus we get to hear out mates’ music.” Brian shrugged, “and we can make it into a competition.” That perked Roger’s ears up, who was always ready for a competition.

“Go on.”

“We should try and guess which song will be the next one and we should guess the number 1. If you get the next song right you get one point and if you get the number 1 you get 10 points. Whoever has the most points wins.”

“Yes let’s do it.” Roger jumped up and managed to find a pen and some paper to keep score.

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Half an hour later, having drank two glasses of champagne and was half way down his third, Roger was winning by one point which Brian was grumbling at mercilessly, although they both knew that it wasn’t heartfelt.

“And after the break number 10.” The narrator of the show said in an overly-happy overly-pretentious BBC accent.

“It’s gotta be Bowie, his new album came out this year. It’s a masterpiece.” Roger said emphatically gesturing towards the screen.

“Nah, he’ll be higher on the list you need something more mainstream. It’ll be Eurhythmics’ ‘sweet dreams’.” Brian countered, and while Roger agreed with him that Bowie wasn’t mainstream he should still definitely be in the top 10. “What Bowie song then?”

“Ermm.” Roger thought for a moment, “Let’s dance’. That’s my favourite off the new album anyway.” He shrugged. The metal of the chains holding the dress up had been cool at first but had quickly warmed up in the warm living room. An advert came on for chocolate digestives and Roger, being one of those people who were completely at the mercy of suggestion, suddenly needed some biscuits. “Please, god, tell me we have some chocolate digestives.” He said to Brian who laughed and nodded.

“Yeah there’s some in the cupboard above the kettle.” Roger jumped up and grabbed the biscuit tin, which was obviously in the shape of a cat because of Freddie. He made his way back into the living room as the program started back up.

“And at number 10 we have ‘What a feeling’ from Flashdance!” They lady said with a pretty convincing fake pep just as the music video started. Roger placed the biscuit tin on the coffee table and pulled out a biscuit, but didn’t sit down and watched the video standing up.

“Hey, it’s this from that film Fred and John when to see when we went to Beezle’s the first time?” He asked as he started chomping down on the biscuit.

“Erm… yeah it is.” Brian nodded. Roger leant against the side of the settee and started tapping his foot to the obvious beat.

“It’s quite a good song.” At that Brian almost choked on his beer.

“What?” He said laughing, “are you serious?”

“Oh, shut up. It’s fun!” Roger exclaimed as the beat started picking up.

“Yeah, it is. I just didn’t expect you to say that.” Brian said, shooting a smile to Roger who returned it.

“And… if you think about it it’s kind of our song… in a way.” He said, feeling a blush run up his neck and into his cheeks.

“It is! That’s cute.” Brian said while looking at the telly, and when Roger glanced at him in shock of his response he saw that Brian’s face was little redder than before. Roger quickly shoved the remainder of the biscuit in his mouth and swallowed it so quickly he almost choked. Very attractive, Roger.

“Dance with me.” Roger said as he reached forward and downed his glass of champagne.

“Seriously?” Brian said, turning to him shocked, “You know I don’t dance.”

“Yeah, but it’s just me.” Roger said making his way in front of the couch to stand in front of Brian.

“But I’m ill.” Brian tried again.

“Oh ho ho.” Roger laughed sarcastically, “are you seriously pulling the ill-card when you’ve just downed a pint of beer.” He said putting his hands on his hips.

“Well it was more a quarter pint of beer with three quarters of foam.” Brian said, clearly trying to be smart.

“Don’t change the subject!” Roger shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at Brian before he reached down and grabbed Brian’s hands and started pulling to get him up off the couch. “Come on Brian! It’s our song. I look great!” He emphasised that point by starting to swing his hips to the music, “and it’s new year’s eve. You owe me at least one dance.” Brian paused for a moment, but Roger could tell that he was winning.

“Fine.” Brian pretty much spat out.

“Yay. You’re the best Brimi.”

“I know.” Brian said as he let Roger pull him to his feet, his blanket falling away onto the floor between them. Brian stepped over the blanket and started moving his body awkwardly. Roger, however, quickly took pity on him and grabbed his wrists and started pulling Brian’s arms back and forth forcing Brian to twist his torso along with it. It was just silly dancing and soon Brian started to get into it. Without needing any prompting Brian took Roger’s hand in his own and lifted Roger’s arm to encourage him to spin under his arm, and with the height difference it worked perfectly.

“Jeez, Roger I think you might be out doing me in the looks department considering I’m in my pyjamas.”

“Maybe a little.” Roger laughed as he spun again, “but you look gorgeous as well.” He said, 100% meaning it. Brian also let out a hearty laugh and gave Roger one last final spin before he pulled Roger in close to his body – which Roger had no choice but to go along with because of the motion he was in.

Suddenly, in one smooth and quick motion, just as the song finished Brian wrapped one arm around Roger’s bare shoulders and the other around his waist and pulled him close to his own body. Roger glanced up to see what Brian was doing but before he could speak Brian’s lips touched his own in a soft peck – mirroring the couple in the music video that neither of one them were paying any attention to. Brian quickly pulled away, stepping away from Roger who was in complete shock. 

“Sorry.” He said, looking completely shocked and upset at what he had just done – which was clearly not planned.

“It’s okay.” Roger said, smiling goofily, “I’m glad you did that.”

“Sorry?” Brian asked, daring to look up to see Roger again.

“I’m glad you kissed me.” He said, now feeling a little bashful.

“You’re glad?” Brian said slowly, clearly confused.

“Oh my god, has this cold shrunk that brain of yours! Yes I’m glad. I wanted you to kiss me.” Roger said emphatically as he took a step towards Brian, once again sharing his personal space. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time, long legs.” He said reaching forward to take one of Brian’s hands and rub it soothingly.

“Oh.” Brian said a little dumbly. There was a beat before Brian spoke uncertainly again. “Can I… May I kiss you again?” 

“Yes!” Roger said, going onto tip toes to lean in and kiss Brian on the lips, this time for a lot longer. As they kissed the world seemed to fall away for Roger, and for Brian. Brian’s hands soon found their way to sit on the small of Roger’s back as he circled Roger’s waist with his arms while Roger put his arms around Brian’s shoulders. They stood kissing for a moment before Brian pulled back.

“Wait, should we be kissing? I’m ill.” He said, but Roger leant in and gave Brian another little peck.

“It’s only a cold.” He shrugged, “plus I don’t get sick. But I do want another biscuit… so.” He said and Brian laughed.

“Wow, I’m being upstaged by a biscuit.”

“A chocolate digestive, Bri, not just any old biscuit so don’t feel too bad.” He said as Brian let go of him, and Roger made his way back to the sofa and grabbed another biscuit, where Brian joined him – grateful to have the weight off his feet again, the cold making him feel run down after only that small while of dancing and standing. They were both giddy with excitement.

The lady on the show made an emphatic return, so Roger picked up the pen to add another point

“And now for number 9; David Bowie with ‘Let’s dance’!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Roger shouted, throwing the pen down onto the coffee table, making Brian double over in laughter.

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For the rest of night they drank and kissed and snacked and guessed answers, and Brian even managed to guess the number one which ended up being Bonnie Tyler’s ‘Total Eclipse of the heart’ which made Roger slur many drunken swears about how the public must be idiots if they voted that song to be the ‘best motherfucking song of the fucking goddamn year.’ In response to that Brian just leant in close and gave Roger’s drink flushed cheek a peck.

Soon they both fell into a drunken haze, their arms and legs in tangles with Roger stroking Brian’s hair and Brian feeling the material of Roger’s dress.

“You’re so beautiful, Rog. I’m so glad that we get to share this now.” Brian slurred messily.

“I’m fucking ecstatic that you still love me. I’m so lucky that you love me and I love you so fucking much Brimi.”

“I love you too. I think we’re both lucky to have each other.”

The tv started sounding the final 12 dings of the clock before the new year and Brian and Roger simultaneously counted down while holding hands. On the twelfth sound they silently agreed to lean in and kiss. They pulled away and Roger quietly mumbled;

“I’m so happy.” Before he fell into a deep sleep with a smile on his face, and Brian wasn’t far behind him.

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Roger groaned when he felt someone shaking him quite violently to wake him up.

“What?” He snapped, he was never good in the mornings and he could feel his head thumping from all the drink. When he refused to open his eyes and instead snuggled in closer to Brian he was shaken more violently followed by Brian’s harsh snap of;

“Roger.” His voice was serious, so Roger wrestled his eyes open and sat up to look at Brian, whose face was covered in lipstick stains, both bringing back the drunken memories from last night and making Roger smile, but Brian wasn’t smiling. His face was pale, and not the type of sick-pale people went, but pale pale – with a red lipstick stain on his cheek emphasising the colourlessness of Brian’s face. His eyes wide and almost panicked.

“What?” He said, frowning getting worried but before Brian had chance to answer him coherently he heard a small cough from behind him and it was if all of his blood and arteries had turned to ice in his body. He turned around to see who it was and he felt ever muscle in his neck working to turn his head. It was as if he was a man cursed by Medusa into stone breaking out of his alabaster prison for the first time and moving slowly – the concrete of his skin snapping and flaking off, slowing his motion. Turning his head felt like it took an entire, aganising minute and when the sight was finally revealed Roger felt his stomach flip, with more than a handover sickness.

In the door way of the living room stood John and Freddie who were staring at Roger as if he had grown a second head. It was evident that John had been the one to cough, both from the quiet, unobtrusive nature of it and the hand that was still in front of his mouth.

“Fuck.” Roger croaked out as he stared at his two friends. There was stillness in the air between them, with neither party knowing what to do. Roger suddenly remembered the position that he and Brian were in, arms and legs tangled, and without thinking he jumped up off the sofa, without taking his eyes off Freddie and John, and started backing away from them – as if he could disappear into the wall – but before he managed to get the wall the back of his knees hit the coffee table which he unceremoniously started to fall onto. 

John was the fist person to react as he quickly ran forward and grabbed Roger’s arm, saving him from falling onto the table covered in biscuits and glasses, and pulling him back onto his feet. Once Roger’s feet had steadied John let go of his arm which Roger then tightly tucked around his waist, followed by his other arm, both shielding himself – making him feel less exposed – and hugging himself. He could feel the chill on his arms and he lowered his head, almost tucking it into his chest, hiding away from the situation and the world behind a curtain of hair. He could feel tears burning behind his eyes again. Why was he so shit at life? Why did every little thing make him blubber like a baby?

“You okay, mate?” John reached out and brushed Roger’s hands with his knuckles. Roger wasn’t sure whether John was referring to his almost fall, his dress or he could maybe tell that Roger was on the edge of something. Whatever the reason was the gentle physically touch that went along with the concerned and friendly question made it too much. It all boiled over and he dissolved into a mess of tears.

He raised one hand to cover his hidden face, while the other arm stayed tucked around his waist. He squeezed his eyes shut so tightly he could see stars and squeezed his skull with his hand so hard it felt as if his thumb and little finger would break his cheek bones.

“Oh Rog.”

“Darling.” He heard both Brian and Freddie say at the same time in the same broken tone. He heard soft padding and dared not look up but he did feel an arm circle around his waist and hand on the back of his head guiding him to rest his head on a shoulder. He could tell from the height that it was Freddie and the next thing his knew Roger had buried his face into Freddie’s shoulder and was sobbing his heart out. After a moment he let go of his own waist to favour wrapping his arm around Freddie’s and pulling him close and holding him tight. “Just have a cry.” Freddie said as he started petting Roger’s head. 

After a few seconds of the room being filled with Roger’s sobs he felt John place his hand between Roger’s shoulder blades, his fingers resting on his bare skin and his palm on the dress. He started moving his thumb back and forth slowly across Roger’s skin. 

“There’s nothing to cry about, Rog.” He heard John say.

“Absolutely!” Freddie exclaimed, “how can you be so upset when you have such an amazing taste in clothing, my dear. This is a gorgeous dress.” Despite everything Roger felt himself smile into Freddie’s shoulder at that.

“Hey,” he heard Brian jump in, “I picked that dress out.” He had a fake offended tone in his voice.

“Oh did you?” Freddie said turning his head to look at Brian, “then I take back everything I just said.” There was a little chuckle from Brian and John at that, with Freddie clearly trying to lighten the mood but the angst and mourning that sat on Roger’s chest was too heavy. He took in a shaky breath before all the words came tumbling out of his mouth.

“I didn’t want,” He hiccupped and he felt John rub his back by moving his entire hand now, clearly trying to help him through his hiccupping, “you to find out like this.” Though his words were muffled by Freddie’s shoulder and buried under a collection of sobs and hiccups he knew that his words were clear enough.

“Find out what?” He heard John say in real confusion. There was silence and it was all too much for Roger, he couldn’t say it out loud, so instead he decided to call for help.

“Brian…” He said a little helplessly, hoping that Brian would understand what he wanted him to do, which, with Brian being the genius and sweetheart that he is, did understand.

“Roger likes to wear dresses and makeup sometimes.” Brian said, his voice clear. No mocking, no tone of shame just as if he were presenting fact. A truth. “He doesn’t want to be a girl though.” He clarified after a beat.

“That’s okay, dear.”

“That’s not a problem with me.” There was a moment and Roger took in another steadying breath and started to slowly pull away from Freddie, who let him go with ease.

“I know… I knew that you wouldn’t mind… I think I’m… I don’t like that this is how you found out.” His voice broke on the last word before he gestured to the living room they were in and then to himself in the dress. “I wanted to tell you my way. When I was ready.” He sniffed and wiped at his tears a little and when he pulled his hand away he saw that it was covered in the black eyeliner and glitter. There was silence from the boys, with them clearly at a loss of what to say about that.

“Roger,” John’s and Freddie’s eyes shifted away from Roger to Brian who sat on the settee, “I agree it would have been nice for you to have told them when you wanted to but,” Brian paused evaluating his words, “I think we both know you wouldn’t have told them for an awful long time.” There was another pause as Brian waited for Roger to jump in, but he wasn’t going to. Roger knew that Brian had it right. It would have been at least another few months before he had even worked up the courage to start thinking about telling them. “Maybe it’s better like this? We get to start the new year now being open and honest about things. We can stop sneaking around, go to the shop more often and try different things if that’s what you want to do. You can wear what you want whenever you want now, can’t he guys?”

“Absolutely.” Roger’s eyes flicked to Freddie who answered so quickly, Roger was shocked he had even registered the question that fast. Freddie had the biggest grin on his face, his eyes travelling up and down Roger’s body with an approving, and even excited, glint in his eye. Roger turned his head to look at John who stood on his left to see what his reaction was.

“Of course. Rog, you can wear whatever you want.” He shrugged, a complete and utter ambivalence in his posture and features. He was just normal Deaky, carrying an air of unlimited and infinite acceptance. Roger took it all in for a few moments before he nodded. Brian was 100% right.

“You’re right.” He admitted aloud, “I think this is better… It was silly of me to think that your reactions would be any different.” He gave a self-deprecating laugh, but no one else laughed at him.

“No,” Freddie’s voice was stern but soft, “it wasn’t silly. We all go through the motions differently, darling, there’s not a right way or a wrong way to do these things. I’m glad I know now though, like Brian said. Plus you can have style advice from someone who really knows how to dress now. Plus, I didn’t see your makeup on fresh but I’m sure whatever Brian did I can do better.” He gave Roger a wink.

“I don’t doubt it, Fred.” Roger said with a slight chuckle.

“Fuck off.” Brian said to both of them, flipping them both off separately. Before Roger could talk himself out of it mentally he started speaking.

“And as we’re telling truths for the new year,” His words were a rush. His sentences mimicking the speed of a waterfall, “I really like Brian and I would like it very much if we dated.” There was a small silence as his words clearly sunk into everyone, and soon John’s, Freddie’s and Roger’s eyes were on Brian who sat with his mouth slightly agape. “Or not. If you don’t want to, no pressure or anything.” The uncertainty in his voice must have snapped Brian into action who quickly held up his hands shaking his head.

“No, no! I was just shocked. I would love to date you, Roger.” And Roger was sure if Brian wasn’t ill there would be a massive blush across his features, just like Roger had.

“Great.” Roger said, feeling a little awkward, not really knowing what the next step to this process was. Luckily he didn’t have to find out because John quietly mumbled under his breath;

“Thank fuck.”

“Sorry?” Brian asked, as he tore his eyes away from his beautiful Roger to look at John.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean for that to come out.” He said, at least having the courtesy to look slightly embarrassed.

“What was that supposed to mean though?” Brian’s voice wasn’t angry or argumentative but confused.

“Well,” John rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, “it’s just that you and Roger…”

“What he’s trying to say,” Freddie jumped in to save John from a situation that was clearly making him feel awkward, “is that it has been exhausting for John and I to watch you two unknowingly flirt for each other for pretty much a year without doing anything about it.” Both Roger and Brian were shocked into silence because Roger had thought he had been good at hiding his feeling and he had never gotten any inclination that Brian was interested!

“A year?” He said dumbly, “We could have skipped all this awkwardness and started dating months ago!”

“Apparently.” Brian shrugged but he did have the trace of a smirk on his face.

“For fuck’s sake.” Roger sighed but he started giggling, and then Brian was also giggling and they were soon joined by Freddie and John.

“Right,” John said as he stopped laughing and clapped his hands, “I’m calling it: we’re having a movie snow day. Action plan: Roger you go fix your makeup, or take it off, get in your pyjamas or stay in the dress whatever you want. Whatever makes you comfortable.” He gave Roger a look – telling him silently that they were all okay with whatever Roger wanted and that his decision should be for Roger’s own happiness. “I’ll make some pancakes and Freddie you go down to blockbusters and get a couple of movies. Ermm, Brian you keep being sick I guess.” He said smiling. Roger turned around and left the living room just as Freddie started to whine about walking all the way to blockbusters, but he heard Brian volunteer to go with him. 

Once he had shut himself in his bedroom and started wiping off the makeup he heard the front door slam knowing that someone had gone to blockbusters and today would be a movie day. He looked at himself in the mirror and saw himself in the dress. He loved this dress. He loved his friends. He loved how they loved him. He loved how last year finished and how this year started and he couldn’t wait to explore this new world even more.

**Author's Note:**

> I know it took a while but here it is! I really hope this is what you guys wanted because I worked really hard on this and I really want you all to love it. I love this series, I've loved developing their relationship and I've never done anything like this before. I don't know if I can really call it a slow burn because of the fact that its multiple installments but I feel like it was a little bit of a slow burn.
> 
> This story kind of moved away from the cross-dressing aspect and more into Roger's journey and his relationship with Brian and the boys and I hope that was something that you guys have liked.
> 
> When I wrote the first fic I didn't expect that about 8,000 words later this is where we would end up but because of the responses I've had from you guys here we are and I'm so happy that we are here. I've loved writing this. Thank you for pushing me on and inspiring me to write more at my best quality.
> 
> Seriously thank you and I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter and this series! (I'm sure another installment of this will come if I get any inspiration later on, but I think for now it's shelved. But I would like to at some point write some fluff with the boys and maybe some Maylor - but for a while I think this is a good place to leave it and I might go over to my other Queen series or some oneshots. Hope to see you guys on those!)


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